Tom Waite’s Ten “Loose Suggestions” for Drivers



Below are a list of ten “loose suggestions” for drivers listed on pages 111-114 of Mr. Waite’s hilarious and often poignant new 2014 book release, entitled Chronic Pedalitis. Personally, I think the majority of these should be and could be revised into commandments and enacted into law in every state and nation, if they haven’t been already.

  1.  “Thou shall not use thine vehicle as a weapon, to kill, maim, or mutilate persons of the cycling variety.
  2. Thou shall refrain from distracting thineself with the texting and the talking and the downloading of the music and videos on the phone of the cell.
  3. Thou shall refrain from all temptation to engage in the gating of the tail.
  4. Thou shall always signal thine upcoming turn.
  5. Thou shall refrain from all acts of rage of the road.
  6. Thou shall give cyclists a wide berth.
  7. Thou shall pay for all medical expenses and provide support to the family members of thine cycling victims…and though shall do so magnanimously, without whining about the spike in the cost of thine auto insurance.
  8. Thou shall refrain from all acts of driving while under the influence of fermented beverages or other mind-altering substances or while dozing repeatedly.
  9. Thou shall refrain from all forms of menacing, gesturing, and intimidating – including the honking of thine horn and yelling out thine window and the showing of thine middle digit.
  10. Thou shall share the road like you really mean it, as if each cyclist is thine own child.”

Source: Chronic Pedalitis, pages 111-114

BTW – the book is a terrific read – I highly recommend it. Cheers!

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